Freedom

Freedom and Physiotherapy

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This new drug is working so well that for the first time in about two years I am not stuck sleeping on only my right side! What a relief! It’s great news and I’m glad to have this freedom. Would you believe, though, that my left shoulder is sore from sleeping on it?

This has been going on since early June. I gave it a bit of time to see if it would resolve on its own, but it didn’t. I get free physiotherapy at the cancer centre, but it took a while to get in. I am happy to say that this week I finally saw the physiotherapist. She’s excellent! (Don’t know why I waited so long to ask for an appointment!)

She did some work on my shoulder, and immediately my range of motion increased! She gave me stretches and strengthening exercises, and instructed me on how to hold my body. I”ve been working on it the past couple of days, and things are improving, but oh it hurts!

These past months my body has gotten in the habit of moving in certain ways to protect itself from further harm. This is good, because I haven’t injured myself more. But it’s become a bad habit because I’m moving in ways that aren’t healthy for my body. Without even realizing, I’ve grown accustomed to a new way of holding myself and doing things, and that has resulted in significant tightening and weakening of certain muscles. This will take time to overcome!

I knew there was a problem, but I didn’t know what it was nor how to work at improving it. I’m thankful for the expertise of the physiotherapist to help me with this. Working at the exercises is awkward and even painful, but I know it’s a necessary part of the healing process.

Pain can be a gift, because it tells us something is wrong. Avoiding pain is common and desirable in many ways, but it’s so good to stretch out of the unhelpful, self-protecting patterns that we may have established, that we may not even be aware of!

Unhealthy self-protection isn’t just a physical thing. There are many ways we can hold ourself back from being who we are really meant to be. Our desire for comfort and resulting choices can cause us harm.

Taking risks and stretching out our comfort zones can be healthy, exhilarating even! … and it can hurt! but sometimes that pain is necessary for good growth.

Our beloved Bible study group is working through Galatians, it this week a number of references about true freedom jumped out at me.  I yearn for us all to live a life of fullness and true freedom!

Don’t let fear or pain hold you back!

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An Extraordinary Week

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I’m resting on the couch with my feet up, reflecting with thankfulness on how good and how strange this week of testing was. I am so glad I made it through! I’m coughing a lot, and looking forward to starting new meds on Monday. (Hoping they work really well!) There are so many stories I could tell and too many thoughts to mention, but let me give you a taste …

Tuesday was blood tests and EKG. As I’m driving to the hospital, the huge dump truck beside me starts moving into my lane! I stayed calm and reacted the way they taught me to in driving school. All was well and I made it safely to the hospital, praise God.

I was rather shaken and physically shaking when I arrived at the chemotherapy unit and checked in. In the waiting room, a man verbally attacked me for no rational reason, but it hit me hard. I’m guessing he was probably feeling frightened and dealing with his own stuff in an inappropriate manner. I was feeling extra vulnerable due to the truck incident. I walked away, then burst into tears. I am thankful for the caring staff at the hospital who comforted and protected me. I made it home without any further incidents!

Wednesday was the bone scan, and my husband Jono asked people to pray that I wouldn’t cough much. I typically cough almost constantly when lying on my back, and that’s how this test is performed … but you have to stay still to get results.

I lay down on the machine and coughed almost immediately, but – and this is hard to believe – that was the only time during the course of the test that I coughed! Wow! Praise God! Thank you for asking for prayer, Jono. Thank you all who prayed.

Thursday was the CT scan – also on my back. Let me say that it went really well. No problems. No coughing. No allergic reactions. Praise God! Thank you for praying.

Now let me tell you what was challenging …

Last CT scan, a friend’s appointment was scheduled right after mine so I greatly enjoyed spending time with him and his wife. This time a different story: a prisoner in an orange jumpsuit with handcuffs and leg cuffs was scheduled right before me, so I shared the inner waiting room with this man and two security guards. I was feeling a bit scared before I got to the hospital, and my apprehension increased. Then there was an emergency situation with the person ahead of us, so we ended up waiting together for a very long time  – over an hour! I thank God for keeping me calm and helping me to see this man as a person rather than simply a prisoner. I am thankful for freedom! I am also thankful for the opportunity to be in an uncomfortable situation that was safe. I spent a fair bit of time praying while I was there! I am thankful for the friends who were praying for me.

So this has been an eventful week on several levels, with new situations and many emotions to process. I am thankful for the love of God which surrounded me, even in the presence of the yelling man and the prisoner. I am thankful for the peace of God which filled me, even in this variety of stressful situations. I am thankful for the gift of prayer and the way God’s peace pushed away anxiety and fear when I prayed. I am thankful for God’s protection in the midst of danger. I am thankful for the mercy of significant chunks of time on my back without a cough. I am thankful for the kindness of strangers, and the beauty of Spring erupting all around me. I am thankful for the love and generosity of friends and family. I thank the Lord who made me.

I thank you.

Do not worry about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6.7)

P.S. –  If I could ask for one more thing … Thursday morning a woman bumped into my arm. It was a fairly hard bump from something she was carrying as she rushed past me. She apologized, and I didn’t think much of it at the time. I figured I’d have a bruise, but it seems to have triggered severe pain and muscular spasms in my rib cage. I’m tired and sore, but the week-end is coming and I want to be present with my kids. If you’re the praying type, I would appreciate your prayers for energy and healing! Thank you!