Replenish

We all go through seasons when we need extra replenishing, and this is one of those seasons for me and many people I know. Whether it’s physical, emotional or another kind of replenishing, we human beings need regular replenishment.

Sometimes something so simple as a glass of cool water can make a huge difference. Maybe we need food, and a simple snack of veggies and protein can do a world of good. For most of my live, I’ve never been a napper, but many people find naps refreshing. In this current season of living with cancer, I nap frequently, waking up with a second wind. Rest matters, even if we don’t fully sleep.

The kids and I sometimes watch one of their favourite shows after dinner, and this can be a sleepy time of day for me. Sometimes no matter how hard I try, I can’t keep my eyes open. They watch me like hawks and call out to wake me as soon as they think I may be dozing off. Some of the time I’m just resting my eyes, but often they wake me up and rewind the show so I don’t miss anything important. How awesome are they! I’m so grateful for them.

Exercise is one of the best ways to recharge, and can really help reduce stress and cancer fatigue. As they say, it’s always wise to check with one’s care team first, and of course always listen to one’s body.

The hot days can be extra challenging, especially for those of us who don’t have air conditioning. On the difficult days I use fans and a cool, damp cloth on my forehead and/or the back of my neck can be a game changer.

It’s important to invest time in things that nourish us. This can be challenging as our various abilities shift from time to time. Several years ago, for example, I took up acrylic painting and really enjoyed it. When I started on a different med, though, my hands hurt and painting was no longer an enjoyable pastime. The treatment was definitely worth this side effect, since it was keeping me alive. It is important to be ready to make adjustments and shift to new things that fuel us.

For those who love a lot of people living with a deadly disease, it is not unexpected that we will lose people we care about. This weight of grief can be a heavy load to carry. I found a grief counsellor through Hospice Care Ottawa who listened a lot and gave good suggestions for self care. One of the best self care suggestions makes sense for everyone, not just those carrying an extra heavy weight of grief…

Make a list of things that we can do to care for ourself, and break it down by time required. A category for a few minutes, another category for up to an hour or a couple of hours, one for all day or even longer… Self reflection and experimentation is required to make the most of this opportunity. Post the list somewhere convenient for easy reference!

To get you thinking, here are just a few of the things I find nourishing right now…

Few minutes: glass of ice water, look for birds out the window, enjoy a snack, sit under the carport, listen to a song on the radio, dance, do a few exercises (stretching is so good!), cross a small job off the “to do” list, play a word game on the phone, message a friend, list things I’m thankful for …

Up to an hour or more: visit with a friend, read, reflect, journal, phone a friend, walk outside, do exercises, sit in the garden, do a medium job on the “to do” list, nap, watch a show, listen to a podcast …

What brings me most joy, peace and hope continues to be reading the Bible and praying (ever since I was 17 years old). This is how I am replenished many times each day, with thanksgiving.

What replenishes you? I encourage you to make a list and set aside portions of your days to do these things regularly. We all need regular replenishing.

Generous friends brought delicious dinner (polenta, peppers, egg and basil) and also a cute little dog for a visit this evening. Very grateful for good friends!

Living on Oxygen: tips that have helped me

A few people have asked for advice about living on oxygen, including someone on the West Coast who I had a good conversation with yesterday. Seems like a good idea to share some tips that have helped me and to make it clear again that I have no medical training. These tips may not be suitable for you, so (as always) please talk with your own care team and bring your list of questions to them so they can answer with good advice specific to your situation.

Sending out love to everyone who is on oxygen, or considering it. Being on oxygen can be challenging, and I hope this post may make it a little better, even in some small way. We are never alone.

It is almost exactly six months since I went to emergency and stayed in the hospital for several days due to shortness of breath. I’ve been on oxygen ever since, 24-7. My oxygen rate requirement increased significantly over months, and more recently it has decreased a bit. This decrease is a real relief, since I was up to 10 on a machine that only goes to 10. I have a terrific respiratory therapist with the oxygen equipment rental company, and she brought over a second machine in case I needed to go above 10. These two machines can be linked together and go up to about 15 Lpm of oxygen. Very thankful I have not had to do this so far.

Being on oxygen can be scary and shocking. Some people have said they want to “tough it out” and avoid using oxygen, but it’s there to help us breathe better and if our team recommends it then it’s definitely worth trying. For me and for many others it made such a world of difference. I was having a hard time walking from one room to the next in my small home prior to going on oxygen. Even with it, I still need to move slowly. Walking slowly is challenging for me, and my kids will tell you that, as will anyone who was within hearing distance of us today while walking up and down the street, my youngest reminded me to slow down SO MANY times, out of love and concern. I need to be reminded. I get excited and tend to speed up. Oxygen is extending my life, and right now there is no option for me. I sleep with it, shower with it, and keep it going all the time.

When suffering from shortness of breath, it’s important to relax and take long, deep breaths. In through the nose and out through the mouth. This might feel like it’s very difficult, but it really matters. This is the way to change back to “normal” breathing, and it’s doable. Leaning forward in one’s chair, or on a counter or chair back if standing, can help also, as can sitting up straight and putting one’s elbows out so there is more room for the lungs to expand. Some people find it helpful to put a fan on. It seems counter-intuitive to slow down the breathing, but long deep breaths is important, and relaxing to make this possible is important. Ask your team what is best for you.

I’m using a machine that sucks in air from the room and shoots out oxygen through tubing which goes into my nose through a nasal cannula. This can be drying for the nose and throat, especially at higher flow rates, so Secaris nasal lubricating gel was recommended, applied using a very small amount on a q-tip. The directions say every 4 hours or as needed. I’ve been using it for almost six months and haven’t even used half of my 30g tube, but I don’t put it on as often as I maybe should. Perhaps this is too much information, but my nose bleeds frequently, especially in the dry weather and on higher oxygen levels. It is important to keep the airway clear so the oxygen can get through easily. (Also important to not use oily / greasy moisturizers near the tubing.)

Things can go wrong, and when one is relying on an oxygen machine to stay alive, it’s important to think these possibilities through and have plans in place, just in case. If my machine stops, a loud alarm sounds. This has happened a couple of times, and I’ve also accidentally pulled the cord from the wall (usually by trying to go too far from the machine, especially when the cord gets tangled up). Obviously, it has worked out just fine every time. One machine needed to be replaced, and a representative from the rental company came over and took care of that promptly. Also, we had an electrical problem in our home which required calling an electrician to get it fixed. He was great and had the problem solved within a couple of hours of calling him.

It’s important to regularly check for and straighten out kinks in the tubing that can decrease oxygen flow, including twists in the tubing by one’s neck. I check this several times each day, and always before going to bed. I monitor my oxygen levels (%SpO2) using a little device that fits on the finger, which also shows the heart rate. If you have one, you can ask your respiratory therapist to check for how accurate it is. I’m supposed to keep my oxygen levels between 91-95.

I also have oxygen tanks, with weekly deliveries to replace empty with full tanks (and bring replacement tubing etc.). Obviously, it’s important to stay on top of this. We make sure that there is always an extra tank nearby (ideally in the same room) in case of emergencies so we can switch the tubing from the machine to the tank for seamless oxygen supply. My kids are awesome about this and come running if the machine sounds. I use the tanks when out walking or going on trips to the hospital for example.

Speaking of hospital trips, when at appointments I use the hospital oxygen, whether a big tank on a wheelchair or being plugged into the oxygen in the wall by a hospital bed. It’s important to check the hospital tank gage levels because, even though they are so big, they can empty out too. Twice now I’ve emptied out all the oxygen from a large hospital oxygen tank. Obviously all worked out fine, but it’s important to have emergency plans in place and to ask for help when we need it. Very grateful for the people who’ve come rushing to help. I now always also carry my own tank for a back-up. It’s a bit awkward, but worth it. The rental company included a bag for the knee-high sized tanks so I put it on my lap in the wheelchair.

The thought of being on oxygen can bring lots of feelings, but if our team recommends it then it could really make a terrific difference for us, extending our lives potentially for months or even years. Ideally our team will figure out the cause and find a solution to improve our health, but until then we can benefit so much from the support of oxygen. Please make a list of your questions and talk with your team about them. They will have the answers that are appropriate for your best care. You can ask for a palliative care team for symptom management (studies show that people who have a palliative care team live longer and better – it’s not just for end of life care). You can also ask for a respiratory therapist and/or a physical therapist. Lots of people benefit from oxygen. We are never alone.

By the way, the dog seems to love oxygen tubing and is typically seen lying on it, often with his enormous head on it and/or his paws wrapped around it. As massive as he is, he has not decreased the oxygen flow, nor has he ever pulled out the electrical cord from the wall. Who’s a good dog!

#hope

#love

#oxygen

#life

#dog

Celebrating Victories

How much it matters to celebrate even the small victories! Especially during tough times, we celebrate progress, we celebrate little wins, we celebrate each step on the path toward our goal.

Many of you know I’ve been working on walking more and it has been challenging. Ever since I was in hospital for shortness of breath in February, and even before then, shortness of breath has at times made it challenging to walk even a couple of steps. I’ve set out chairs in my home to help me make it from room to room. Our home is not large, but there were times I could not walk to the next room without a rest to let my blood oxygen levels rise – even while on oxygen.

I walked in the house with oxygen very slowly, and aimed for a six minute walk each day initially. Often I had to rest more than once during the six minute walks. Eventually the length of walks could increase with fewer rests. The whole time, the goal was to keep my blood oxygen level between 91 and 95%. Often it would dip way down in the 80’s very suddenly. Sometimes even to the low 70’s. Not good.

My treatment breaks seem to be doing good for this body so far, and we are very grateful and quite excited about this – about being alive. To be real, it seemed that I was very close to death for a couple of months. Quite a few people have said they thought so, including my palliative care doctor.

I’m doing better in general, and even on lower oxygen levels in recent days. So very thankful!

I’ve been walking up and down on the street for a few months, with a walker or carrying my oxygen tank, or pulling it with a little cart. I’ve worked on lengthening these walks, and have been able to walk to the end of the street and back most days recently.

Yesterday, with the support and encouragement of my kids, we walked around the block together. Two of them were with me, and they said (if needed) one could run back and get my walker while the other stayed with me. One carried my oxygen tank and the other helped watch my oxygen monitor. Together we made it all the way around the block. First time in over six months!

Those of you who know where I live will tell you it’s not a long distance, not a big block. We still celebrate small victories, and this one felt really big. You are invited to celebrate together with us! I was tired today, and just walked up and down the street this evening, but yesterday, together we proved that I am able to walk all the way around the block. Gosh it felt good!

We don’t have cures for lung cancer the way we would like yet, but more and more treatments are being developed and getting approved. We celebrate the small victories on the path to cures.

One of my doctors said they don’t understand why I’m doing so well on this treatment break. There is so much to learn about cancer and treatments, and people’s responses to treatment. Did my body kick into gear and start fighting off the cancer? That was this doctor’s theory, based on over 20 years experience with people affected by different kinds of cancers. I don’t know why my scans are looking better and I’m feeling better, but I’m giving thanks for this beautiful good gift of extended life.

Here’s a big shout out to those who speak encouragement into my life. You make a world of difference. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Cheers to you! You are helping to keep me going. Encouragement and support really matter.

Cheers to the researchers, doctors and teams who are working for better, longer lives for people affected by cancer! I know for a fact that doctors are cheering for their patients and very happy when we do better. When you get the opportunity, please say encouraging words and thanks to people who encourage and care for people. Please support and encourage and thank those who research, who work very hard for small victories, with hope for effective treatments and cures. So much gratitude and hope!

Those of you who are following this story and cheering for health improvements … please join in and celebrate this victory!

#gratitude

#hope

#treatmentbreak

#chemo

#targetedtherapy

#cancer

#lungcancer