Tomorrow morning I have a CT Scan scheduled. I’ve started realizing this week that I’m a bit nervous about it. It’s not that I’m nervous about the procedure itself: I’ve been through it multiple times and it’s no big deal. It takes a few weeks to get the results, and I’m not really nervous about that either.
We’ve been changing up the dose of the chemotherapy drug I’m taking to try to get the most we can out of it with the fewest side effects. The normal dose is two pills per day, but that was really hard on my body so we decreased it back around September or October to 5 pills per week. In January we learned that this was not enough to effectively fight the cancer, so we increased to 7 pills each week, then to 9. I’m thankful that the side effects have not been too harsh. I’m noticing improvements in my health, so I expect the CT scan will show the same thing – not really nervous about that.
It’s strange what we find ourselves feeling nervous about: often uncertainty and the unknowns are the hardest. In this case, it’s probably not a big thing at all. I’m nervous about having an allergic reaction. They ask you to wait after a scan in case you react to whatever it is they insert into you for the scan. After my last CT scan, I noticed red bumps on my arm forming around where the needle had been inserted just as my “waiting period” was about to end. They were quite itchy, but the main problem was rather petty: it was well past my bedtime, I was tired and wanting to go home to my bed, but the nurse told me I would have to wait around an extra half hour or more in case the reaction got worse. It was also complicated because the doctor initially thought it might not be wise for me to drive myself home afterwards and it was late and I didn’t want to hassle anyone to come get me. I called Jono to update him, and then the man who had been sitting across from me kindly offered to drive me home. He was really lovely, telling me that his wife was also here and it would be no problem for them. Over and over I am blessed by the kindness of strangers! In the end, the bumps and itchiness faded and I was fine to drive home.
So tomorrow morning, I’m supposed to tell the nurse that I had an allergic reaction the previous time. They should inject something into my body to help it not react, and flush it out afterwards, and it should all be fine. But I find myself wondering if it will all go well, and that uncertainty has popped into my head a few too many times this week. I was starting to think about asking someone to come with me, because the right company can make a huge difference. But what I’ve seen from previous CT scans is that they don’t let friends/family go to the inner waiting room where you wait for most of the time, so I’m not sure what value that would serve anyway.
The past few weeks we’ve been praying for a friend who is having unusual symptoms and going through testing. The other day his wife mentioned that he’d have a CT scan on Friday. We’d been hoping to get together once the busyness of this season settled down, and I suddenly had a crazy thought, so I asked and – would you believe it – his scan is at the same place as mine, right after me! What a great scheduling gift! So if all goes well, I will get to see these dear people and have someone I know with me in the inner waiting room. God is good!
If you’re a praying person, please do pray for me tomorrow morning … and would you please also pray for these friends and their family who are bravely holding onto Jesus in this time of testing and uncertainty. Thank you!
Through the Valley 