Chemotherapy has its privileges: you get to carry a special card. Not a gold card, but a red and white “fever card” which reminds the patient to “seek immediate medical attention at the nearest hospital” if one’s temperature is at or above 38 degrees C (100.4 F). “This may be a cancer EMERGENCY”, it declares in bold letters.
We get regular reminders that we are to check our temperature daily, and I usually do it in the evening. Friday morning, though, I awoke feeling quite wretched, reached for the thermometer and discovered my temperature was 38.1 … wishing it was 37.9 didn’t change the reading!
So I went downstairs to tell Jono (my husband), who reminded me that the car was at the garage for repairs. By the time I’d jumped in the shower, dressed and grabbed my bag (which was already packed since I was scheduled to spend the afternoon having chemo), a lovely neighbour was arriving to drive me to the hospital. (Jono picked up the car and met me there later.)
I didn’t have to wait long before they brought me into my own special isolation room, with a warning sign posted on the door. I didn’t even know they had these private rooms in emerg – kind of like being in a hotel with my own attached powder room! Few people were allowed to enter, and they had to be dressed up with special masks etc. to protect me from further infection.
“Febrile Neutropenia” they call it. I think it means that the chemo significantly affects one’s ability to fight any infection. At certain times of my chemo cycles I have virtually no white blood cells (nor red ones nor platelets for that matter). The timing of this fever couldn’t really have been better for me – praise God – because my blood test numbers were good and I was due to have chemo that day.
They ran a bunch of tests: more chest x-rays, urine tests, blood tests (three pokes and two new bruises), etc. but couldn’t find any particular infection. I slept most of the day while they loaded me up with fluids and two different IV antibiotics. They considered admitting me, but I was so thankful they let me go home around dinner time, with a prescription for yet another antibiotic … covering all the bases!
I napped on the couch all evening, then a quick dinner and straight off to bed where I slept really well. Amazingly well, in fact! I slept EIGHT HOURS STRAIGHT, which I hadn’t done for six months! Normally I awake about every two to three hours – generally because I’m uncomfortable. Since August, I can only lie on my right side or else I cough. I could not believe that I woke up at 9:00 am with the glorious sun shining so high in the sky!!
Saturday I felt so much better. Sunday better still. This morning it occurs to me that the fact that no one has pumped my body full of toxic chemotherapy chemicals since February 4th probably has something to do with me feeling stronger and more energetic.
… But I want that chemo to kill more of the cancer … and I need to get in to see my oncologist before they will schedule me for more. I was feeling a bit frustrated that the long week-end delayed my regularly scheduled Tuesday chemo date, and now I’m chomping at the bit to get back on track! (… and desperately trying to not succumb to the control-freak part of my nature!)
I’m also very aware that so many of you are praying powerfully for me and I can’t tell you how much that means to our family. I feel your prayers and the presence of God powerfully, and I know that your prayers are making a huge difference. Thank you!
I’ve been reading the gospel of Matthew lately, and healing was such a big part of Jesus’ ministry. Chapter 8 tells how he healed a leper, which was the big “incurable” disease of the day. The leper knelt before Jesus saying, “Lord, if you choose, you can make me clean.” Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him (a cultural / religious / medical no-no of the time), saying, “I do choose. Be made clean!” Immediately his leprosy was cleansed. Then Jesus heals a Roman Centurion’s servant, commending the Roman for his faith (we are all welcomed – praise God!). Then he heals many at Peter’s house, including Peter’s mother-in-law. Chapter 9 describes Jesus healing a paralyzed man when he saw the faith of his friends, then a woman who had been suffering from bleeding for 12 years, a little 12 year old girl who had died, two blind men, a mute demoniac, and the list goes on…
What I find so exciting is that Jesus goes to all the cities and villages. He teaches, he proclaims the good news of the kingdom, he cures every disease and every sickness, he has compassion on the crowds because they were like sheep without a shepherd … and he says to his disciples,
The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few; therefore ask the Lord of the harvest to send out labourers into his harvest.
Jesus then summons his twelve disciples, gives them authority, and he sends them out to do the same things he has been doing … good news!
You, through your prayers, are written into this story, sent by Jesus to do his good work of love and compassion. Thank you for being labourers in his harvest, and for the difference it is making for us.
Please do keep praying – not only for me, but also for my family. Being a caregiver / supporter / loved one is hard work! My husband is tired; my kids can be scared / grumpy / angry / etc. We all welcome your prayers.
We also greatly appreciate all the warm thoughts, cards, help and gifts we are receiving. It is so encouraging knowing that so many people are standing with us and supporting us in so many ways, and believe me: this all makes a HUGE difference to us. We can not tell you how much it means to us. THANK YOU!